21 June 2009
the full naught
The gods must think I’m stupid, they way they place the most obvious symbols in my way. Yesterday evening, I arrived once again at the Penland School of Crafts having driven through treescapes and rainstorms, and after an inspirational overnight stop at Sally Mann’s farm. I was already feeling changed, having fled a few difficult months at home and looking forward to an intense couple of weeks of work and wonder, so I didn’t need much urging to appreciate where I’d come. But as I sat around the dinner table, already surrounded by old friends, I saw across the llama hill the most ridiculous rainbow – I mean a seriously bright, laughable joke of a rainbow, with a faint double above it – ending almost exactly where I’d be staying for my time here.
For some reason, Penland always manages to call when I need it most. I was just here in March, in fact, when Cat and I needed time together and an escape from the city. But I’ve come again, now single and feeling more than a bit lost, in order to take over the class for Scott McMahon, who couldn’t make it. We’ll be doing Gum Bichromates, among other things, and the timing couldn’t be better. Gum was my favorite process all through college, and I come back to it every time I need to play with color. As I’ve finally returned to working on At Sea it seems like just the right time again.
Oh I’ve been lost for too long now, but after a few diversions (into sculpture, other works on paper, almost all failures) I’ve finally been able to get some decent work done and have started to feel like myself. My brain’s coming back, though it’s a slow clearing of the pathways, and I am ready to be open to what my students will teach me here. Tonight is the 12th anniversary of my friend John Neff’s death, who grew up on this mountain. He’s buried just down the hill, and Ila – also teaching this week! – and I will be there tonight to honor and celebrate the past, and the simple fact that we are here still and again after so many years, and so full of life.
comment [2]